Reading...

I've started a new book this week. The Memory Keeper's Daughter, so far I'm only a quarter of the way through and it is a fabulous book.

I'm not much for literature, I always feel like such a dunce when faced with any sort of "literate" book. I tried reading Pride and Prejudice once and just couldn't do it, I just couldn't get past the wording. This book is not literature, but it is a deep read. I have already been brought to tears by it once. I usually avoid books such as these, as I tend to get my emotions all tied up in them. I will read and read until I am finished, not able to deal with my daily stuff until I have completed the story and if it is at a very intense part of the book I can get rather snappy with my poor family. So that's why I tend to avoid these beautiful tales.

I like to go for the fluff books, I enjoy reading Jude Deveraux and Nora Roberts, pure passion and romance and nothing of substance. You can see the end a mile away, so I can put the book down and get some other things done without wondering what is going to happen next. Without feeling obsessive.

I'm doing my best not to get so fully engrossed in this book, because I can already see how emotional I could get about it. When I was at Costco a few days back, browsing the book isle, I was drawn to this book and decided I just didn't want to read fluff this time, I needed some substance.

Years back, right after I had Ash, I remember reading a book called She's Come Undone. To this day I can still break into tears thinking about that book. There were parts of it that were so close to what I had felt as a child (even though I have never suffered mental illness or an abusive parent or partner) and I could see why the main character had stuffed herself with food (even if I haven't). I still have that book in the house, I usually don't keep the books I buy (I really should use the library more) because I just can't seem to part with it. Nor can I read it over again, which would probably be a good thing being 7 years later and a bit older and hopefully wiser perspective.

I tend to be a bit embarassed in my reading choices, because I always feel so very dumb for reading them. I don't bring them out in public and don't share them with my friends. My mother-in-law usually gets my old copies, as she likes them as much as I do. Such a guilty pleasure.

This is one of the more difficult things about Ash having a learning disability with reading. I fear that she will never enjoy a book the same way I do. She will never want to read for pure pleasure or will be able to find pleasure out of it. I really hope she does. I hope that one day I can share my love of reading and books with her, even the fluff ones. I can already see that I will be able to do so with Dawn and that makes my heart glow.