Adventures With the Tooth Fairy!

When your baby is little and gets her first tooth you are SO excited.
Oh isn't it the sweetest thing, you cry.

And then you have this wonderful little fantasy about when your little baby loses that tooth and how sweet and adorable it will be to play the tooth fairy. You will creep into their room, money in hand, and easily be able to slide the tooth out and put the money under the pillow (who thought of that ridiculous thing anyhow?) without ever having to worry about the child waking.

Well, I'm here to tell you to get that sweet little fantasy right out of your head.

First of all, it will take weeks of wiggling and tugging and moaning about how much the tooth hurts. Then there's the trying to get it out, you can't leave it in because then they will swallow it, so it must come out.

Finally! The day comes when it breaks free (try to ignore the blood dear!) and we all do a little happy dance. It's free! It's free! Tonight the tooth fairy will come!

And in that earlier fantasy about becoming the tooth fairy, you NEVER imagine forgetting about the duty, how could you?

Another fantasy busted.

The first tooth, of course you don't forget, and usually they are fairy young, so they sleep a little sounder. But by the time the fifth or sixth tooth is lost, the appeal of being tooth fairy has been lost. Occasionally you forget the first night, "OH! That silly Tooth Fairy! She must have been pretty busy with teeth last night, I'm sure tonight she will come." Then the next night you place the money on the counter so you will not forget.

At midnight, you creep into the room, flashlight in hand, and maneuver yourself beside the bed. (Ash is in a loft bed so I had to sneak under/beside it) The kids are asleep, you peek-up over the side of the bed, to check the note that the child has left for the Fairy and start reaching up to get it. It is then that the child awakes! You quickly turn off the flashlight and hide in the dark under the bed, willing the child to go back to sleep. She doesn't, she turns ON the freaking light! "Mommy? What are you doing?", "OH! Honey, I'm just looking for a pen! Go back to sleep." Shit. You leave the room. Double Shit, you left the money sitting on the desk below and didn't get the note. Now you have to go back IN.

Where to put the stupid money? You can't go near her head, she will wake up again. You decide on a plan and head back in (after waiting for 10 minutes).

You ditch the flashlight and go blind. You tiptoe in trying not to step on the Littlest Pet Shop animals scattered throughout the room. Creep silently over to the bed, get the money, quick as you can, get the note. Phew, she didn't notice. You hear her move in bed! Crap! Stand silent under the bed. Phew, close call. Then you creep around to the END of the bed and place the envelope with the money inside at the foot of her bed. And get the HELL out of there! Then you walk into your room to see your sweet husband snoring soundly, blissfully un-aware of the trauma you have just endured. You could get a tooth out from under HIS pillow!

In the morning, your darling girl skips in, "Guess what Mommy?! The Tooth Fairy came last night and she left me MONEY! In this cool envelope at the end of my bed!", "Wow, that's great honey. She sure is clever."

Oh, how I am NOT looking forward to doing this another 14 times for her and 40 more times for the other two. Ugh.