It's been a weekend of indulgence. And I'm feeling it. We had a birthday party on Saturday night (at Anna's house, she's 29!) and I just keep eating and eating. Then Sunday we had a big ham dinner and birthday cake for Harris (finally) over at my parents house. I'm still full from the weekend.
And this leaves me to think about why I just can't get it together with my eating.
I mean, I want to eat better, I want to lose weight. Hell, I've even started back with my running. So why is it that whenever I make some strides forward and lose a few pounds I seem to totally sabotage myself and make up that lost weight? I do stupid things like buy a Coke when I'm at the grocery store, knowing that I don't need it and don't even really want it. Then I don't drink it, because I feel guilty for buying it, then when I'm hungry and feeling low I say "screw it" and drink it and maybe have something else I shouldn't eat with it because I have screwed up already. Then I've lost my calorie deficit for the day and it's another day done for.
I really need to get better at this weight loss stuff. I keep saying to myself that I've done it before, so why do I suck so bad at it now? But I have to forget what happened before, this is now and life is different than before. My head IS in a much better space then it was, I no longer binge on a whole bag of chips, I can stop myself at just a small bowl-full. I just need to stop needing to eat the chips in the first place. A piece of fruit is better for me anyhow. And I have actually started to enjoy drinking water, really I do like it, I just need to stop feeling the need to buy the Coke instead.
Today is a new day. And I'm back at it, hopefully I will lose that 10 pounds I need to lose (or more) by my February goal. That's not so much to ask, right?
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1 comment:
I'd like to lose 10lbs too - but I'm always sabotaging myself... I'm my own worst enemy!
Good on you for running again - I can't even do that!
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