Friends...

I have a few wonderful friendships, which I am thankful for. I have an e-mail group that started when I was pregnant with Ash and has continued on and become much more than just about our children. We have met up numerous times and really enjoy each others company. The group started out at about 18, and it has whittled down to a group of 10. I love that they are there for me, regardless of what I am doing, where I am or what I look like. They are supportive and caring. But there is only so much whining that any friend can take so I hesitate to say a lot of what is going on in my head for fear that I am bombarding them with too much (that is why I have decided to do this). The only problem is that they aren't *here*. We can't go for coffee or have our families over for dinner, they live thousands of miles away, all over the US and the world. Even talking on the phone is difficult with time changes and all of our busy schedules, it's just hard to get-in-touch.

There is my sister, Suzy, she is definitely my best friend and biggest supporter. We have remained close through childhood, discovering ourselves and having kids. I know that regardless of what I do she will always be there. But she's the same, she's not here. She lives 4 hours away and has a busy family as well. We try to talk on the phone once a week, but sometimes even that is tough to do. Her oldest son, Rob, is 9 months older than Ash, and a busy-busy boy. He is SO quick, so smart, and so challenging. Her youngest son, John, is 2 months older than Harris. They are already so much fun to have together. John is shy and quiet, a real cuddle-bug, the opposite of his older brother. I wish my sister were closer (they were for 8 months and it was wonderful), but we don't always get what we want.

My newest friend, Anna, is great. She works evenings so we usually have coffee together a few mornings a week. Her son Art and Harris are 9 months apart, and will be in the same grade (eventually), and they are starting to get along really well. Dawn wants to marry Art someday and I think the feeling is mutual. We connect, we have a lot in common and we get along. We recently went to Vegas together (with husbands) and had a blast together. We were working out 3 days a week over the summer, and it was going really well, then she started full-time and her hours changed and we haven't worked out since. Along with that there is her seemingly ever-present annoying friend that doesn't seem to be ok with us working out, so I've backed-off a little. Our husbands work together and are friends as well, which is nice, because Junior doesn't seem to play well with others. It's nice having a friend here to rely on and that enjoys my company as much as I enjoy hers. Phew.

Then there are the friends-gone-by. I have decided that I have been "phased-out" of one of my longest friendships. She is married, lives in the same city as me, our husbands played ball together and we were Best-Man and Matron-of-honor at their wedding. We had kids, they haven't been able to. I have given-up my career and she has become very successful in hers. My husband has struggled to find a career and her husband is just (if not more) as successful as she is. They golf, with a passion, and we don't. We are in different areas of our lives and it makes me sad. I hope that one day we will be able to re-connect again and have a good friendship, because she has been a very important part of our lives. For now, we will talk once a month or so and get together for dinner once or twice a year and be happy with that.

I don't know why I feel the need to departmentalize everyone. But I have to get it out there. These are things that roll around in my head, and NOW I have an outlet. Lucky ME!